Hello!

A new year still brings forward challenges from the last but as is most things in life they can be endured with a heavy dose of attitude. My name is Lore and I love to create. I love to create almost anything – even the odd argument [but shush!]. I love to write and adore my pets (Elliot, Keats and Bronte). I also have three chronic conditions; Lupus (SLE), Sjogren’s Syndrome, Fibromyalgia. My conditions make a ‘normal’ life impossible but I still foolishly and with much pain try to keep up with the ‘normals’. But why am I struggling to accept that I am ‘different’? Probably because the weird stuff I do is not cute, kooky or gloriously eccentric but just plain weird.

The ‘grey fog’ that broods in my brain and takes over my body makes me look  like an extra from the Dawn of the Dead and causes me to have panic attacks in a supermarket as I cannot process choices and follow the procedures of basic everyday tasks. Supermarkets are particularly distressing, as in an absolutely unfathomable way, I cannot face the freezer aisles. As I approach the chilled section I can feel my bones tighten and muscles twitch as the stark change in temperature convinces my freak of a body that it is not in Morrisons, England but base camp in the Antarctic and by the time I make it to the freezer aisle I am in agony. The freezer aisle makes me physically sick! Weird huh? That damn ‘fibro fog’ also makes this girl not understand left from right, unable even to follow the simplest form of conversation that polite society is formed on – the weather! “Horrible weather isn’t it? “Is it?” “Rain again” “Rain? It’s raining?…Why am I at a bus stop? I’m sure I came in a car…didn’t I?.. What did I come out for?.. Rain! You were saying…?”.

The fog (at least I hope it’s the fog) makes me think that my bedroom is the kitchen and that the bedside cabinet is the fridge. The fog is also why some people look at me agog as I’m struggling to join up the words that are scattered in my head. People look as tortured as I feel as my responses to them are laboured and have a long delay. I may as well be on another planet, messages take a long time in arriving and meanings get lost in translation and I already feel that I wasn’t quite built for this world. So if I cannot fit myself to this world I will set about creating a new one.

I have got a little carried away. Apologies. I hope not to take up too much space moaning and share more frivolous things such as my  beauty product hoarding and all those pretty things in life that I cling to to brighten up the fog and distract from the thunder and lightening of the other symptoms.

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7 thoughts on “Hello!

  1. btsbeauty says:

    Your blog is fucking genius, and makes me wish I’d had the balls to write a blog about my health and my work, instead of trying to keep my life in neat little separate compartments.

    I know your feels–8 yrs chronic Lyme. Keys in the freezer, phone in the fridge, can never find my car–but don’t need to since the keys are on ice!

    Also. Thought I was the only one who gets horrible grocery store anxiety!!

    Liked by 1 person

      • btsbeauty says:

        Yeah. There are a bunch of statistics about how grocery stores are a great place to pick up women, and I’m always like—-uuuuh, not this chick.

        Like

      • lore green says:

        I can’t even decide on what type of bread I should be buying let alone be able to process dating etiquette. Besides in England your lucky if anyone smiles at you for fear of invading each other’s space. Besides I don’t think a guy is going to find the sight of me hyperventilating over which cereal is better value attractive.

        Liked by 1 person

      • btsbeauty says:

        That actually sounds like a dream compared to California where it’s a fit over who can fit their basket down the aisle first! So many bruises from shopping carts!

        Liked by 1 person

  2. My Pieced Life says:

    I am impressed that you are sharing so much of your world! I may get there some day. I have fibromyalgia and lupus too. It has been quite the learning experience getting adjusted to a life that has some limitations. Crafting has become one of my biggest stress relievers.

    Like

    • lore green says:

      Thank you. Yep crafting is great for stress – thankfully! When our energy levels are limited it’s great to do two things at once – have fun and relax through crafting. I’m still on that learning curve of adjustment, it never seems to stop, but with every hurdle and challenge you get to learn something new and that makes you stronger. x

      Like

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