Take Advantage of Every Little Positive

Wrestling with Sleep

A key feature of all my conditions is persistent fatigue, the type that lashes at you with every breath and with every effort those lashes sting over wounds that have been unable to heal. It is not pleasant and the cruel irony is that whilst your body aches for sleep every part of the day, often the pain makes sleep impossible so the lashes continue piling on lessening the chances to heal. And even when you are able to sleep you absorb it like a glutton and the result of such necessary indulgence is more pain.

Sleep for me is a constant struggle; I fight the need of it so I can stay awake to do a task, I wrestle with it as I want desperately to sleep yet the pain scares it off and I often fear to sleep as the chances are that when I wake I will feel just as bad or worse when I wake. I also fear that I am and will sleep my life away. This sounds quite bleak and mostly it is, but some days when insomnia persist through the night – like now – I get a surge of manic-like energy than makes me feel indestructible and full of optimistic plans of the day ahead…I’m going to set-up a website, read that book, walk the dog, write several pages… Alas, this feeling does not last long and the plans will just remain plans, but I love the feeling as it is a reminder of the old me and I will run with it for as long as I can – which will be probably be till 11.30 am. Take advantage of every little positive.

6 thoughts on “Take Advantage of Every Little Positive

  1. fibrofogg says:

    Hi ~ I can so relate to your sleeping issues! I Love Love Love to sleep! All though for the most part it’s not really the kind of sleep you need to feel better 😦 I’ve had Fibromyalgia and back pain issues for 20+ years now and had to make the decision not to sleep my life away (well not every day at least) so what I force myself to do is go for walks, the park, the beach, anywhere to get out and get some fresh air. Once I’m out of the house I actually feel a lot better, and better about myself for doing it. Then, I can go home and take a nap that’s a little better in quality sleep because I;m exhausted from the walk and fresh air! Good luck to you 🙂 Bel

    Liked by 1 person

    • lore green says:

      Thank you. I think I am going to try and make walking every day a priority. I love walking with my dog and even if when I hurt whilst and after doing it I do enjoy it and feel more relaxed. I so wish I could take my dog everywhere with me, I feel much calmer and pain is a little easier to endure with him around. And your right just getting out of the house, even for a brief moment can feel rewarding. x

      Liked by 1 person

  2. cassandrarei says:

    Take advantage of the positive… such a small quote with such big meaning behind it! I wish I did this more often. I know that in my bouts of insomnia, positivity is the furthest thing from my mind. Thank you for this post x

    Liked by 1 person

  3. edswarriorprincess says:

    I find that my brain also likes to make big plans whilst battling (pain)somnia. I keep a notebook (Filofax) and my smartphone next to me in bed for whenever nighttime creativity strikes! And I also tend to blog at stupid o’clock in the morning… Like right now, it’s 2:20am. But I know that I can ‘catch up’ w/the occasional nap during the day (if I’m REALLY lucky) and at the weekend when my DD is out w/her father, and I have the day off 😉

    I’ve suffered from insomnia for as long as I can remember. I can actually remember having trouble sleeping from when I was about 6/7! And my DD has it occasionally, AND my mother suffers from it too. It’s definitely part of the EDS package w/my family.

    It totally sucks. And the ONLY way to deal w/it is to treat it as an everyday, regular occurrence. Pretend it’s normal and just go with the flow… Catch your zzzz’s whenever you possibly can. Because if you don’t sleep, you don’t heal 😕

    Much love, and gentle hugs xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • lore green says:

      Yes, I too do the late night, early morning blog and I’ve been so thankful for the blog as I don’t see my insomnia as a waste of time anymore, I can put it to good use. I think your right, best not to fight what you can’t control and just accept it as ‘normal’. I also have been a bad sleeper all my life so it probably is normal to me. I love your phrase ‘painsomnia’. xx


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